content 2 b happy

Content and happy are synonymous yet they feel very different to me. Content is settled, an exhale, comfortable, pleased, quiet. Happy is spirited, bubbly, blissful, pleased, louder than content. After sharing a most delicious meal with two of my close friends, one of them said she was content with how her life was going. Hearing this made me happy for her, gave me a sense of happiness, got me to wondering if one could be happy but not content. I feel fortunate and very thankful for so many things. My achievements, contributions, and the good that has come to me many times over have exceeded my own expectations, which gives me a thrill but I am far from content. There is still more to accomplish, desires yet to be met and though I’m grown, the curve of learning continues to arch…thankfully you can’t hear that I am groaning! When does it end?

Lately, I feel like I’m grappling with life as it stands right this moment on the sloping side of the bell curve (emphasis on “this moment” as I am fully aware that in the scheme of things this is a blip on the radar, we cannot always be on top). However, climbing let it be social, a rock wall, or the slippery slope are no-no’s for me! I don’t waste energy schmoozing with superficial judgmental folk who want to know my current stature on somebody’s roster before I am worthy of conversation; I thank my lucky stars for the unconditional friendships that fell from heaven into my world. But my person, that one man who wants to stay to play long term is still orbiting my galaxy though my landing strip is more than prepared. Knock on everything, I’m in good health and when I sprained my ankle days ago on an evening walk, I refused to succumb bending and flexing through the pain. But I struggle to find the best work out regimen for me as I still truly need to weigh less; scaling a wall is not on the short list. I can visualize studio space a get-away near some water place for sale, bought and decorated in my head. The news said that the first time home owner benefit has fled, oh my! But the bottom line is I made the decision to refrain from rushing into a nightmare financial or otherwise just so I could make that particular deadline. What’s that saying about fools who rush…? “This moment” is also consumed with wondering if being kind, thoughtful and generous is a good or bad thing. As I focus on me, does that mean it’s all in me? Okay…I’m not every woman every day so will someone -- man woman other the universe -- actually hear the things my heart desires and either lend an assist or hell, just make them come true?

In the mist of the fog is joyous news that makes a grateful clearing on my path. A meeting with a mind that shed a different perspective on the familiar raised my eyebrow, gained a nod of approval. And so the day it ends is the day you stop and I don’t mean breathing but living. Let’s just say I am somewhat content, happy more often than not and beyond pleased when I open my eyes each morning knowing that I have been afforded a fresh start to contemplate it all. So I encourage you to…

keep your peepers open! ®