luminous

in the dark there is some light…

This past Saturday, I stepped from the front door and for the first time in countless months, I felt no pain when I walked, was able to spend an hour or so moving about the rose garden that I had yet to visit this year to take photographs. The sun beamed across my limbs seeming to energize my body. Temperature and wind worked on my behalf so that it was easy to compose, or not, my shots. Just about every picture I took captured what I was after with one take.

As I headed back to my car, the limp caused by the need for my upcoming hip replacement surgery was barely noticeable though I knew it was there. For the rest of the day, it was if I had gone back in time three years to when all was well with my joint; it is now, that I knew and I so appreciated a gorgeous day, pain-free spent not only conversing with the flowers but with really good people at nice settings.

Since I made the decision to have surgery, a huge burden filled with all kinds of things that have weighed heavily on me lifted. Secrets I have kept for more months than I can count about how I’ve been feeling mentally, physically and emotionally are drifting away as I voice them. A sense of normalcy is returning as I embrace all that is luminous in preparation, so...

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moving decimals

I’m not sure when I’ve been so happy that the weekend was here. It was just one thing on top of the other as each day came and went before Friday arrived; coupled with buried thoughts about past occurrences, there were moments where I found myself asking, REALLY? The good thing is I was able to identify, name, and face those feelings I had tucked away. In hindsight, I realized that I barely had time to deal with some of them when they came up, replacing them with others that seemed to be more appropriate for coping. So when the week began to wind down, I was beyond thrilled as I tallied up some numbers that thrust me into elation! That was until I woke straight up out of my sleep the next morning knowing for certain that the final figure was incorrect. I panicked, sent out text messages to let folks know of the error, beat myself up, cried. I felt sick. All of those buried thoughts that I had just tied up neatly resurfaced across my sweating brow. I wanted to crawl under my bed as I climbed out to begin getting ready to go into my office feeling like a dunce.

There is nothing like a warm shower and a little mindful thought to put things in perspective.

As I stepped under the cascading water I asked myself why the miscalculation now; clarity came almost immediately. A misplaced decimal while adding had given me a pat on the back, a feeling that yes, I've done great work over the years. I’d been struggling with changes in the office, vacillating between fear and survival modes with an "I need to prove myself" mindset. Seeing a huge number was just what I needed to settle me; it gave me permission to stop running fast to win a race I've won many times over in the past 14 years. Indeed there was nothing to prove. My accomplishments speak loudly...even when the decimal shifted one place to the left. All would be well.

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(I) need a minute

having a moment…back on Sunday and while I put myself on pause…

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this one day

I have run across this passage more than once while thumbing through Sundance catalogues. Each time I do, I clip it intending to amass enough to mount on pretty paper and laminate for my friends -- an easy yet creative way to share something meaningful to me with those who mean the most to me.

Yesterday, I received a message that someone very close to my very close friends, a person I did have the honor to know, died while out jogging. For the third year in a row, I find myself shocked by the unexpected death of a wonderful person whose path crossed mine. My deepest sympathies go out to his family and all who loved him.

Appreciate this one day, live it to the fullest and…

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prevention

During a recent conversation, someone said to me, “Well, I guess if my life depended on it…” then that person would adapt beneficial lifestyle changes into their daily routine. I got quiet thinking, why do we wait until we are having a crisis before we incorporate behaviors that help us to take better care of ourselves?  I found myself asking out loud, “What are you waiting for?” knowing full well I was talking to myself, actually reminding myself of changes I want to make, that I need to get on with.

The next morning, I stepped outside. While checking my reflection in the window (I really MUST get a better full-length mirror!), something small, round and turquoise teased my left peripheral. There, close to the edge of the downstairs balcony was a tiny robin’s egg. I stared wondering if it had fallen from a nest in the rain gutter above and if so, how had something so very fragile remained fully in tact.

Over the years, I have not always honored my body temple, am really working to restore, repair and rebuild for I truly am not one who wishes to wake-up not knowing how I landed in the hospital all because I chose to wait until my life depended on it before taking steps to do better. Our lives, like that egg are so precious, as we age more fragile. No one regardless of how many birthdays have past can afford not to take or continue to practice good care. We must teach those behind us the tips we learn about health and wellness so they can avoid or at least prolong experiencing family ailments. As the saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, so listen up and...

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#bringbackourgirls

On this particular Mother’s Day as we celebrate our own, may we take a moment to hold in our hearts and minds the Mother’s, Grandmothers, Aunts, Godmothers and Other Kinds of Mothers of the more than 276 Nigerian girls kidnapped by the senseless...I just cannot call them hu(men).

We stand as one Mother today and every day as we continue to demand…bring back our girls NOW!

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angelspeak

Angels on earth come in many forms. This one was not in my immediate range of site rising high above me on a lovely morning, my attention buried deep in a tulip bed. Yet somehow she managed to tickle the back of my neck just as I was about to tuck into my automobile. I chuckled, tickled a second time seeing her in the window waving her wand in my direction. She had a message.

I believe in all kinds of angels, human, spirit and other, love when one pops up out of nowhere with something for me. May this one bring you something too...

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subtraction

Less than does not necessarily mean less. Sometimes, speaking a few heartfelt words is far more meaningful than a long speech. Hearing a couple of notes can bring back full on moments from a romance past bringing a big smile to one’s heart. If you've ever cooked anything, you know that a pinch of salt rather than the whole shaker is the trick to bringing all the ingredients together to highlight the deliciousness of the dish. When it comes to art, I have made a collage from four pieces of paper forming a goddess just as complete as one made from 400 cut pieces.

Every so often, a photograph taken asks for color subtraction and when that’s the case, I feel my way through varying degrees until the image is just as gorgeous as the total Technicolor version.





And for this one, I removed some details to get a more detailed look.

Less can be so much more when we’re able to change our perspective so…

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