hovering

Being sick for more than a week and a half has kept me confined to the house for the most part, and like the invisible germs I caught I was forced to catch some unseen feelings that had been hovering around trying to tell me something when I was well. But with blurred vision and heavy eyelids it was more difficult to grasp them. Just when they appeared in touchable focus, poof they were gone. As I coughed up snippets of messages, my eyes watered with undefined tears that couldn't be wiped. In each tissue used to wipe my nose, I looked for clarity to signal that perhaps I was closer to knowing wellness. My exhausted body wrestled to be well as it dealt with fragments of feverish images, waking me to push the healing beads of gentle understanding from my head.

Whenever I am down for the count, a lesson is under the covers. Physically I was hurting, that was obvious but what wasn’t so clear and what I needed to deal with was emotionally I had been numb and just didn’t know it. Oxygen deprived on both levels, I was and had been unable to breathe. Choking, I threw off months of smothering pillows that covered my face to take in much needed air.

Anything we love including ourselves needs oxygen to grow, creativity needs oxygen to thrive. It was no wonder I couldn’t produce at the table when I sat down the first week of the year...my breath wasn’t breathing life into me, it was sustaining others. That was the first revelation. The words like, live and life kept appearing in my thoughts so I jotted them down one day while I was coherent. And as I lay in bed it came to me…just one additional letter in each word keeps it from being a lie. That took on several meanings all of which made sense that need not be stated here. Suffice it to say that it was a reminder to live life like I mean it, to live the life that I like no apologies, and to stop telling myself untruths to make things okay when deep down I know they aren’t. And that was the second.

As I made notes yesterday for today’s blog, skating was on TV (love skating!). I paused to take in three performers dressed in funny not quite like clown costumes, a huge white kite (love kites!) hovering above them, it and they gliding gracefully over and above the ice, light and carefree. I feel like that this morning, graceful, enlightened, free, lovin’ me and feeling better. I’m craving fresh air and coupled with a salubrious perspective on managing me and everything around me, it’s time to thrive. You too, so get going and…

keep your peepers

open!®